Confessions

I didn't make time today. Not for anything constructive, or affiriming, or educational, or positive.

It was one of those days. You know the kind. It's raining, you can't find your keys, there are literally no parking spots, ALL of your meetings run late, and every. little. thing. annoys. you.

That was my day. I could go into the woes of smashed cell phones and ignorant clients and snappy co-workers and wet feet and, and...

So, I wallowed in my crummy attitude and I glared out the window with annoyance. I cursed the rain for making me cold and I blamed it all on something or someone. Even stomping through the door and pouring myself into my favorite sweatpants and hoodie didn't seem to make the slightest difference. Because they were static-y and not warm enough and the pockets felt funny.

You know, that kind of day. Sigh.

I'd like to sit here and justify it ("we all have days like that...") but the reality is, I didn't even try to turn my day around. Not once.

As I sat down to write this blog post tonight, I realized that I didn't want to "make time" today. For myself or for others. I didn't want to be thankful that the rain is preparing the ground for the new life of Spring. I didn't want to be joyful that I have a job (which I love, most days!). I didn't want to give a little grace to the people who had to be around my foul mood today, or to celebrate the fact that I have a fully repaired phone, at no cost to me. I just wanted to be grouchy.

Shame on me.

If there is anything that I know to be true, it is that we can control our attitude, and today I failed at that. I also know that this Lenten practice thing requires some discipline, and I failed at that, too. But... maybe most importantly, I know that we get more than once chance to get it right, even (maybe especially) when we stumble. Tomorrow, I'll try a little harder, and be grateful that I am not confined to my attitude of today.

Here's hoping your day was full of sunshine and lolipops, but if it wasn't, I hope you'll join me in trying harder tomorrow.

Pressing forward,
Amanda