Going Dark and Zeta Love

I am uber connected.

I have a phone, (three) computer(s), facebook, 4 email addresses, Facetime, a twitter feed, a LinkedIn site, an Instagram, and a blog. I have apps that allow me to play games with friends and family far away (Boggle anyone?). When I forget my phone at home, I feel naked. It is almost never more than 2 feet away from me. And. I. Check. It. Obsessively.

I have never actually calculated the amount of time I spend looking at my phone, or my computer, or my social media sites... but I guarantee it would make me sick to my stomach if I actually did. As I considered the concept of "making time" last week, I realized that sometimes you have to give things up in order to make extra space. Painful thought, I know.

With that in mind, I walked into Friday afternoon knowing that it was time for a media fast. From Friday evening until Sunday morning, I stayed off my phone. Off my computer. Off my social media sites. And I made time to look at something other than a screen.

It was terrifying. And glorious.

It reminded me that the world still spins without me knowing what everyone I know was eating for dinner. More importantly, it reminded me that the world still spins without me updating you all on my every thought (quippy and brilliant, though they may be). It reminded me that being connected is good-- connected to people, or the outdoors, or to a good night's sleep. It reminded me to look beyond my own little world and facebook friends. To think without googling. To look out the window for the weather instead of an app. To experience. Going dark can shed a lot of light.

So what about the rest of my weekend? Sunday, I did that Jesus thing at church and helped with our Lunch with the Pastor event. By 4pm, I was home and the worst headache of my life was setting in. You know the kind. Your head feels like it could break into pieces with the slightest touch. Yet, ironically, you are absolutely convinced there is an entire miniature drum line beating on the inside of your skull. That kind of headache.

There was nothing I wanted more than to turn off every light and crawl straight into my bed. And I almost did. Until I remembered, I had a ZTA chapter meeting. And a meeting afterward. And it was 30 minutes away. In the cold. And I wouldn't be home until 10pm. AND I had to dress up. *sigh* For a brief moment, I considered calling in sick, which would have been totally legit, but then I remembered something my pastor had said just that afternoon: "Two things in life that define us are our relationships and our commitments." Dang.

I had committed to attend; I had committed my time to these women. I had committed my focus and attention and presence. Buck up, Stallard, and put on your high heels.

Maybe that's not an example of "making" time, but it sure was a choice on how to use my time. Sometimes doing the right thing with our time requires some sacrifice. I chose to follow through on my commitments, to build trust and confidence in my relationships, rather than crawling into bed. Drum line and all, I wouldn't have had it any other way.