Perspective Shifted

Happy Wednesday!

As we are only one week away from Thanksgiving (my very favorite holiday!), I have spent a lot of time this week thinking about things that I am thankful for. Every year, it seems to me, my list is mostly the same. I am thankful for my family and my friends and... blah blah blah all of the other cookie cutter answers.

Earlier this week, however, I was challenged and inspired to shift my perspective and find ways to be thankful for the things that I usually grumble about during this time of year. Some of these are my own, some are borrowed from others.

I am thankful for a full calendar of events and activities, because it means that I have a job and friends.
I am thankful for student loan bills, because it means that I was able to get a great education.
I am thankful for the clothes that might be a little snug, because it means I have more than enough to eat.
I am thankful for the housework that needs doing, because it means I have a home.
I am thankful for all of the complaining I hear about the government, because it means we have freedom of speech.
I am thankful for the people who push my buttons and force me out of my comfort zone, because they make me into a better, more patient, more understanding person.
I am thankful for the parking spot at the far end of the lot, because it means that I have transportation, and the ability to walk.
I am thankful for my heating bill, because it means I am warm.
I am thankful for the never-ending loads of laundry, because it means I have clothes to wear.
I am thankful for having to take the dog out, in the middle of the night, in the cold, because it means that I am a good mommy.
I am thankful for that one annoying Christmas song that is overplayed on the radio, because it means I can hear.
I am thankful for weariness at the end of the day, because it means I have been productive.
I am thankful for broken hearts and mourning losses, because it means I have loved others.
I am thankful for slightly intrusive friends and family, because it means that others love me.
I am thankful for 14-hour car rides, because it means I am able to be home for the holiday.
I am thankful for the grumpy people out Christmas shopping, because they remind me to check my own attitude. 
I am thankful for the stress of gift giving, because it means I am being thoughtful of others.
I am thankful for arguments with others, because it means that I am passionate about what I believe.
I am thankful for having to ask forgiveness (probably after said argument), because it means that I understand that seeking and granting true forgiveness are the only ways to heal brokenness.

... and especially this year, I am thankful for all of my children, hyped up on candy canes and cookies, who ask me a million questions, make messes, and often require my undivided attention, because it means that I am in relationship with them and have the opportunity to teach them about loving God and loving people. And, because I get to learn from them every day how to have the faith and love of a child. There are few greater gifts in my life than that.

I pray this week, as we head into a season of Thanksgiving and Advent, that God will move in our hearts and shift our perspectives so that we will find the many blessings God has given us, even when they are disguised in something that we might consider a difficulty or burden.

Wisdom for the 17-year-old Amanda

It should come as no surprise to many of you that I often scan through the radio stations while in my car. When you pair my eclectic taste in music with my impatience over commercials and mediocre songs, I often annoy people with the the amount of channel flipping I do. Tonight, while doing a little Christmas shopping, I stumbled across a country song. The premise of the song, in short, was about the types of things you would include in a letter to your 17-year-old self. I spent a good part of the evening thinking about this.

The woman I am now is quite a bit different than the girl I was then. Sure, my general character is still the same. I am still pretty traditional and corny. I still like a lot of the same things. I still am passionate about my faith and family and friends. I still get excited over holidays and fireworks and lightning bugs. I still make a lot of mistakes. But, I am different. I spent the last few hours thinking about the things in my life over the last 8 years that have changed me. Shaped me. Hurt me. Humbled me. Made me a better person.

So, what do I wish I could tell my 17-year-old self?  

1. Lighten up. Laugh at yourself. Life is not always meant to be so serious.
2. The world is not black and white. Learn to accept grey. Learn to enjoy grey. 
3. Some friendships are not worth the effort and drama they bring.
4. Be friends anyway. Relationships make you a better person. Even the hurtful ones. If you push everyone away, you'll end up lonely. Really lonely.
5. Don't worry, you are going to have some amazing friends. They make it worth it. Promise.
6. Being judgmental is narrow-minded. Listen more. You might learn something.
7. If you have doubts about someone from the beginning, don't date them. Trust me.
8. Mom and Dad know a lot more than you think they do.
9. Dont give up on your dreams. You'll regret it.
10. Don't be afraid to try something new. Even if you don't like it, at least you tried.
11. Don't speed-- you'll end up getting a lot of tickets. You only can cry your way out of about half.
12. You're a great procrastinator. It is your strength and you will still do great, but you won't get much sleep.
13. Stay away from credit cards.
14. Dark hair is not a good look on you.
15. You're vanilla. Embrace it. There's a reason why vanilla is the most popular flavor. It's good.
16. You hate hospitals. That doesn't change. In fact, it gets worse.
17. The only one responsible for your happiness (or unhappiness) is you. Adjust your attitude. Choose to be happy. The only thing you can change is yourself.
18. Time heals, but doesn't erase, wounds. Hurts can have long-lasting effects. Don't be hurtful or spiteful or so cynical.
19. While you like to argue, and can be quite good at it, you'll find that it's usually not worth it. Kick the habit, girl. Winning isn't everything.
20. Love God. Love people. Love is a verb. (see previous post)

Love is a verb.

Happy Wednesday!

Last week, as I was spending time with some of our children, I noticed one of them had written this on the white board:  

"Love is a verb." 

Knowing this child, I was aware that they own a t-shirt that carries this exact message, and I remember thinking, "I wonder if they understand what that means, and how powerful a message that is."  My instinct is that they understand the message even better than I do.

Over the last week, as I have tossed that moment around in my mind, I remember myself at 8 years old. That year, for Easter, I received a Bible and a bookmark with my name on it. At that age, I was thrilled to have things that included my name: a Boston tape (yes, I loved 80s music even then), a monogrammed bag, pencils, notepads, you name it. Thus, my new favorite bookmark read, "Amanda-- Latin: Worthy of Love" and then had a Psalm to accompany it. I remember often looking at that bookmark and naively thinking that it meant I was entitled to a fairy tale- the love of prince charming all wrapped up in sunshine and rainbows and me always having perfectly combed hair and fancy clothes. After all, my name literally meant that I deserved that, right?

As I grew and matured (and, perhaps, grew a little more cynical) in my teenage years, I sort of defined myself by the word "worthy." Who was worthy? Why? How do you become worthy? And in relation to love, does that mean that some aren't? If I was involved in these types of things, went to these types of events, made these types of grades, had these types of friends... then, would I be worthy?

Now, I choose to define myself by the word "love."

I know this to be true: love is no fairytale. It is hard. Really, really hard. Love is a verb. It conveys action. Love requires us to forgive. To be patient. To be humble. To be selfless. To trust. To hope. To persevere. Take a look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. These verses are so commonly used that I think we forget what they mean. Love requires us to accept people who are different than we are. Different races, different religions, different economic statuses, different political parties, different points of view, different ages and genders and sexual orientations. Love requires us to look someone in the eye that has hurt us... and ask for, and offer, forgiveness.  Love requires us to listen. Love means we dont judge.

As people who are followers of Christ, who seek relationship with him, hear these words: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. ALL the Law and the prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22: 37-40)

Love is our greatest command. Our greatest call. Love God. Love people.

Love, my friends, is a verb.